Its 2 a.m. and I’ve got work in the morning. Yet, the sudden surge of memories in my hippocampus has forced me to scamper out of the bed and draft them into this script. So you might as well treat this as a half-asleep man’s narrative.
We miss a lot of people, or at least a few of them. Anyone who says he doesn’t is either a liar or a robot.
Because Life is a journey, the most dynamic passage. And as it goes along unfolding itself, we come across various people. All of them play their parts in our story. A few play the lead, few others play para-lead while the rest play supporting roles,
However, some of those characters figure so prominently in the novel of our life that once their role is concluded and they leave, our mind refuses to accept the brass tack. So we tame it by giving unreasonable explanations which, with time, start turning into unrealistic expectations. And when those expectations remain unfulfilled, the void gets filled by their memories. After that, all the ‘I really miss you‘ tantrums follow.
There are only three queries that surround the concept of missing somebody. “Why and how did they become a part of our lives ?“, is the first one. “Why did they leave ?“, is the second. And “Why do we miss them ?“, the third. And answering these would become extremely easy once we begin the quest with recapturing somebody whom we miss at present.
Why, and how, did they become a part of our lives ? Well, there can only be two possible reasons. They were either granted to us in the form of family members, relatives, classmates and neighbors, or the circumstances facilitated their entry in the form of friends, mentors or lovers. Why did they leave, then ? Well, this inquest is a grave one.
Let me risk playing a cynic here. All those who ultimately left us are the one’s who came to us when they needed somebody for support. Moral, emotional, financial or physical – support of any kind. Such people might love us profoundly too, but they will do so only as long as their need for our support remains alive. Once that need perishes, they find our existence useless. They move on, finding new people for their changed requisites. They would have done the same to somebody before us, and they might do the same to the person after us. And that does not nominate them as selfish, they are just utilitarian, and it is their right. So no blame attached to them. After all, it is just a give and take deal for them.
So then, why do we miss them now ? I might sound a little gloomy, but honestly, it’s our own fault. They checked into our lives for a reason, and we allowed them to. They hacked into our feelings, because we gave them that liberty. Our mind got addicted to them because we didn’t care enough to analyse the cons of the situation. Because we involved too much emotion and very little logic. In any case, the problem lies with us. And because our ego-filled mind fails to swallow its own deficiencies, it consoles it self by discerning ‘don’t worry, they’ll be back soon‘. And this bogus anticipation yields nothing. We keep waiting, and we keep missing.
Albeit it could have been much easier had we taken the pain of telling ourselves the brutal truth – hang it up , u’re not needed anymore. And while that might appear quite difficult to digest, it would simplify the forthcoming complications nonetheless.
Or even better, if we could have restricted our minds from conceiving that fondness in the first place. Trying to hook them down while they want to leave isn’t the palpable solution. because I deeply believe that “if they want to leave, let them…. coz if they don’t come back, they weren’t ours anyway”
Thankfully, I haven’t had to face such woes ever in my love life (because I’ve never really had a love life to be honest :p ). However, there is still somebody whom I dearly miss, somebody who is an entwined part of my life and somebody for whom I have a soft spot. And the entry of that person was a result of both grant as well as circumstances.
Our relation is still quite fresh, but somehow in the recent times, we’ve drifted away a little. Again the same problem – getting addicted to the person rather than the relation. And although that person always used to tell me “I will never forget you in my life, no matter what“, it did happen eventually, and probably too soon for my liking. That person found people for their newly bartered needs, and I was on my way out. Neither of us knows the reason, and neither of us tried to pull it back. And when I tried, it was too little too late.
I would not malign that name by mentioning it here. Nevertheless, while writing this post, I’ve probably understood what is to be done with this problem – leave it to time, because
“every problem need not be solved, some will just get dissolved”
Till then, I miss you !!