When Yevgeny Salinder was nearing his 12th birthday, he discovered the remains of the Wooly mammoth in the snow of Siberia. When I was of the same age, I discovered my First love. I’m 23 now, and I’m ending it with this post. 11 years is, after all, a long time…. probably too long.
The First of anything is always special. First school, first teacher, first friend, first bike, first job, first achievement or first crush – all of them carve a permanent niche in our minds. The reason is pretty simple. When we crave for the first of anything, the fascination is most genuine. There is no logic behind the desire, no sense of purpose either. It is almost an obsession, a stubborn obsession.
In fact the next time we desire for something, it is based on cautious experiences of the past. But no such restraint is felt in the first endeavor.
First love, however, fares above all of these obsessions. Because first love isn’t an obsession after all. It’s the most authentic infatuation. In fact I believe that there are only two emotions in this world that are decisively pure – Revenge and First love. For when it’s the first love, it’s only the heart that conceives the emotion. Every other time you fall for somebody, it’s your hormones that do all the talking :p ( while first love generally happens to us before those hormones have even matured ). And first love, therefore, stays imprinted within us forever, everything else fades off with time.
And the period in which it culminates is enduring in itself. You notice them from the corners of the corridor so that they can’t see you. You gaze at them, and you don’t even realize when that gaze becomes a stare. And if they look back at you, the expression of embarrassment on you face is hilarious. When the seats get reshuffled in the class, you want them to be parked at the nearest possible. You might forget bringing your hall ticket to the examination hall, but you would never forget wishing them luck. And you might be the biggest goon in the town, but to them, you would always sketch the most civilized image of your being.
In fact the power of this empathy is so strong that, while reading this post, I’m sure all of you would have conceived your own image of ‘that one person’ in your minds.
And even though in most cases, first love either remains a one-sided sentiment or turns into the most obnoxious experience, yet it ultimately becomes the most delightful memory of our lives. And a permanent one too.
As Kumar Vishwas says, “Kisi ko dekhne ke liye ek pal kafi hai, pasand karne ke liye ek din kafi hai, Pyar karne ke liye ek saal kafi hai, par use bhoolane ke liye puri jindgi bhi kam pad jati hai”
Hence I loved, but I never felt the need to tell.
Because I believe that real love is much more embracing than the mere desire of possessing the person. It is, in truth, the will to see that person happy – be it with you or without you.
And to Mr. Kumar Vishwas, I shall only intend to assert “agar kisi se sach me pyaar kiya hai, to puri zindagi bhoolna hi kyun chahoge” 🙂
PS: Nobody is going to call me asking the name of that person, even she doesn’t know.