While talking to an old friend the other day, I came across a strange bent that is common to a lot of people from our generation.
Recently, she moved to the city I live in, after having lived in another city for a few years. And every time she called me up, she would start comparing the two places. She would talk about the things she found absent at her new place, and how she missed the old one. I felt strange. After all, they are two different places, so they have to be different. For if they were exactly the same, they would be one place.
In our lives, all of us have been guilty of judging. People, society and even lifeless things – we have a habit of trying to fit them all into categories.
Because deep inside our minds, there is an urge to pass a judgement… to, very quickly, draw conclusions for every experience, and to fit it into categories – essentially good or bad. And in essence, we actually forget two critical commandments :
1 – Just because somebody doesn’t fir our definition of goodness, doesn’t mean that they aren’t good. We like people who like us, or who are like us. But then there can be people who aren’t like us, and are still good people.
2 – Basically, everyone is good, it is the degree of goodness that differs. Also, a few habits in a person can be annoying, not the person as a whole. No one can be completely good or bad.
People’s impression on our mind is a function of the circumstances in which our interaction with them takes place. In some other situation, they might have come up as different personalities altogether. And then there is prejudice to go with our judgement… because many a time, we end up forming an image of the person even before we get to know them well. Because we mostly judge people on basis of what we have heard of them, not by what we know of them.
We forget that humans are not machines, and feelings are not physical quantities. Life is too complex an equation to be solved by mere mortals like us… but our ego doesn’t accept that. And hence, we end up letting some valuable pearls go while remaining busy collecting stones
Last time the same friend called me, she was returning from a visit to her old town. And this time, she said “The place isn’t the same anymore. There are no friends here, no fun at all. It is almost as if I’ve come to a completely new place”. Well, there were circumstances that made her love that place. And when those circumstances changed, she didn’t like it.
She added “In fact the new place seems more homely to me… now” Well, once she stopped comparing, she realized that there was much more to her new place than she had discovered. Conclusion kills the scope of exploration, and you can’t like something unless you’ve explored it.
I honestly feel that we have no right to judge anyone or anything. At least not, until we have thoroughly gone through their circumstances and . So why run around judging things. Instead, go about exploring them… and thus giving yourself more chance of liking them.
PS: Our judgement hardly effects their life, but it definitely effects ours.